Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
