If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
