I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
