I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
