You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
