how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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