I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
