I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
