P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
