paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
they need to just BURY HIM!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
