DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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