I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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