Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i dont even know how to be here
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize