I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
