but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
