Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize