This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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