I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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