How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
