I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
