That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
