Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
