i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
