Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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