Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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