How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
