if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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