There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
are you so shy because you have an std?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
