chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
