i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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