She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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