so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Randomize
