Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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