he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
