Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
