i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
