god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
