Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i believe in u and ur pee
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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