Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize