Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
