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WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize