if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
