she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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