Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Randomize
