OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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