My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
