Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
