i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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