My nipple is on Facebook.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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