I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
third nipple confirmed
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is this like a preordered booty call?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
