He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
