wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize