Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
