So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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