if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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