I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
