It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
