Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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