we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
