I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Well I just put wine in my tea
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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