32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
