sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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