Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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