I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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