But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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