After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
