while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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