Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
