How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
