one might say we're banned from that church
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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