dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize