there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
