he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
