We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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