White coat. Heels.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
