My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
